Friday, July 29, 2011

My Sew Empty Birthday House

Ok, I’m saying it.  I miss my diva girl…um, I mean grown daughter.  I know she’s an adult now and married in fact.  I know this because I was there.
We even threw a party.  A GREAT party.  But oi vey, I didn’t expect that I would miss her 22nd Birthday. 
That she’d move so very far away (2,046 miles to be exact).  The same year I’d used up all my vacation for a “Bucket List” trip to Europe.  Yup, didn’t plan for that.
It seems I blinked and she grew up. 
I’m not saying that I miss her drama or her tantrums, (whew, she had some doozies).   I definitely don’t miss her running up my credit card bill. 
Or explaining to me why she absolutely needed some this or that from Anthropologie “in her life”, or a new cell phone that was going to run me $100 bucks and another two years on my contract, just so she could tweet with her buds. 

But I miss her.  The sarcastic sense of humor and her hysterical belly shaking, falling down laughs that would make me start cracking up at nothing, most times, I didn’t even hear what the heck was so funny!
I miss her picking at her dad,”ZIPPING” the side of his face with her palm, appropriate pay back for all the years he tortured that child.
I miss watching all the “younger shows” like Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars with her.  When we’d just turn to each other in synchronized fashion screaming “SCANDALOUS !” over some shocking scene.
I miss her catty remarks too: 
“Are you REALLY going to leave the house in that outfit?, The fashion police will arrest you!”
“The 70’s Disco called and the want their shirt back”
“Is that dinner?  It smells like death”.
“Thanks for putting doo in my pasta momma, (she hates green peppers), I’ll just eat bread”

Everyone says I’ve done shockingly well.  I’ve not had any crying jags, or sat in her old room and felt sorry for myself.  Or felt lost really, in any way.  I haven’t felt like half of me is missing, either. 
When I’ve gone into her old room, (it’s our relaxation/sewing overflow room now), I walk out smiling with thoughts of her.  She’s been a great joy to us both.
Oh the fun we’d have on her Birthdays! The things I made her do! LOL.  
Like dragging her and a girlfriend on her 16th to Carowinds, making her ride every single roller coaster with me.  I convinced her we had to commerorate the special day.
She hates roller coasters. 
I love them. 
She screamed her lungs out until she was hoarse. 
I laughed until my sides hurt. 
Yeah, we’ve had some great times.

Her dad will sass a lot and act like he’s thrilled she’s up and out of the house.  The same tough guy who wrote her the sweetest letter on her first day of school and teared up when he had to leave her in her classroom.  He always says he’s raised three kids and he’s ready to be alone. 
But I’ve just raised the one.  My only one.
So on this very unusual birthday, I say to you, my darling, most precious Girlie Girl:
Have the most amazing day!  Try something new!  Surprise yourself!  You are capable of so many great things, never allow a tiny shred of doubt in who you are and who you want to be.
And I’ll be thinking of you, sending you lots of smiles and hugs….from only a few  thousand miles away.

1 comment:

Cathy mogull said...

Oh Alise
That really got to me. She is so lucky to have you as a mom.
All the best,
Mogull (Cathy)